Painted love
Fri, Apr 10, 2009
Jason had this image as an Image prompt for “Two Lights” Short Fiction Contest Sadly, I wasn’t around blogging at that time when the contest was on. So I wanted to post my take on it here.
“Jessie, stop it! You are going to spoil it all.”
“All I want to spoil tonight is you honey”
“Shut up and let me finish this.” she said with her cheeks flashing red.
“Come on… you can finish this tomorrow”
“Oh its almost complete, I just need to sign my name below”
“Guess what? Me too…” he teased and ran his paint covered hand all over her face.
With a turn and stare, she raged fury “That does it” and her paint brush splashed on his face.
She began to run giggling and bantering. With three paces he caught up with her; lifted her up and took her to the bedroom.
* * *
Tears ran down the deep brooding eyes and a smile ran on his wrinkled face, as he stared at the picture.
“Dad, are you okay? We should get going now for the ceremony”
Just give me a moment son. He got another lamp below the painting so he could see it clearly.
It was signed ‘Chel’.
He took out his pen and completed her signature.
“Will be back with you soon honey…”
Tags: Contest, Fiction, Flash Fiction, Love
Touching.
Don’t really know what to say… it made me cry.
Am sorry it did that to you Kriti…
But happy that it clicked for you.
Now this is amazing… every picture has a story…and urs is picture perfect..!
Beautiful Aniket! It didn’t make me cry like Creation but I wasn’t far off it! I got goose pimples when reading near the end.
Really, your writings getting better with every post.
I think you would have done well if you’d have posted it for Jason’s contest at the time.
Next time…….
T-F L:
Glad you didn’t get disappointed this time. Phew..
Margaret,
Surprisingly I didn’t even use 300 words… Now that I have learnt my lesson to let go of unnecessary adjectives that just slow the pace down.
And I’ll ask Jason to evaluate it anyway. So that I can get tips for next time.
You have a beautiful voice and way to touch hearts, Aniket. Your heart remembers. It’s a two-edged sword, isn’t it?
A lump in the eye and a tear in the throat.
Nice one A-man
Bevie…
A double-edged sword it is!
Thank you for such an insightful comment and am glad you liked the voice in it.
Preacherman:
A-man… I like the sound of that.
Now I wanna say “Thanks for the lovely comment”… but it doesn’t feel right to say to you. lolzz
So I’ll just settle with “Thanks Mate”
Aniket, I have something for you in my blog…Pls bear with me. Hope you like it:)
Aniket – This is beautiful — touching, poignant. The is lump in the throat-worthy! Very, very nice.
Deepa:
Thanks a lot for the award, am truly honored.
Karen,
Thanks so much. Your comment is very very nice… just like you. ;D
By now many of them have already told what I felt…very touching! Nice & sweet post…very apt for the image.
I can see that everyone appreciating you for your writing which is getting better day by day.
Good Luck!
I am reminded of one of my (very own) short stories called 'REUNION'. I will post the excerpt sometime later coz I can't post it in full. I would like to hear from you on that.
Happy Easter, Aniket. Hope this day is a joyful and happy for you.
Thanks again Deepa…
And yup my fav. aunties keep supporting me all the way through.
And they don’t even realize how this much means to me… blogging is the only thing keeping me sane these days.:-)
And would love to read “Reunion” even if just an excerpt.
And if you get some free time do read a longish short story I wrote “Lost in Life”… its the first post on this blog. Would love to hear your take on it.
A very Happy Easter to you too Bevie!
Aniket, this is one of my favorites. Nicely controlled, perfect pacing, and that ending…beautiful. A treat as usual. And I love that this is what you saw in Jason’s prompt!
Okay, I am off to make mattar paneer (with store bought paneer, of course) like a good beyti!
Jen (Jen works right?
):
And it was a great pleasure reading your comment as per uz…
Am glad you liked it… hope Jason does too.
“Mutter Paneer” yummy… And you are a good “bahu” am sure… much like a good “beyti” lolzz!
Now I know why LGL appreciates you!
And why I ran away from her after seeing her 25 books list!!
Both were way above my head.. Let me be honest.. So This itself proves that your blog must be great..!!
Shantanu:
Welcome here and Thanks a lot for the Visit.
LGL always exaggerates things way out of proportion.
And am not “way beyond” as you stated at LGL’s… Its just that I now have great company around to learn from. Just by reading their work makes one learn quite a bit. And occasionally they pour in their words of wisdom too.
So I’ll say just join in the ride…
hahaha! Ya… i hv joined!!!
)
that was really touching..
this is my first visit to your blog and ill surely visit again.. loved it
Welcome Amal, am glad you liked it.
Looking forward to your future visits.
if i ever stole your friends, i think i’ve paid you back in kind now
i’ll read this post in lunch break.
“IF i ever stole your friends”???
And yes you have… as it is the more the merrier is the rule here…
Simple beautiful! Loved it!!
Welcome Perplexed…
And thank you so much for the appreciation. Looking forward to more visits from you.
Aniket,
this is your best ever.
thank you so much for this lovely story…
LGL (I always refrain myself from calling you Amritorupa, coz I love the name ‘Little Girl Lost’ that much.)
Mucho credit goes to the blogger identity in me taking interest in your blog in the first place.
And thank you so much… but seriously best ever?
Didn’t think it was that good… Guess I’ll have to re-read my own work.
the ‘best ever’ comment was a sort of hug at the end of a very emotional experience. that, in fact, is how all your love stories affect me.
i cannot judge which is your best. i can just read each one and feel very very happy/sad/romantic/angry/whichever way you wanted me to feel. your stories make me putty in your hand.
(the bribery is getting a bit obvious here , so i’ll stop before the others catch on.
and Little Girl Lost is very much a part of me. it describes me to a tee. please continue calling me that. (i too, would have enjoyed calling you spaceman spiff)
its nice when people use the names i’ve chosen for myself.
another identity i use in other places is This River, That River, or just plain River.
LGL
Aww… You are softening down on me…
And well romantic posts are our forte for us INFJs.
But seriously, thanks a lot. This goes as the “best ever” comment you’ve written on this blog. lolz
And since everyone now recognizes the profile pic… am planning to shift to another blogger identity too.
I had dropped Spiff when I entered into the “Ascension” contest… coz I wanted to make friends with “aniket”… now I can try being creative again.
Thakkerosaurus Rex, may be?
and you are reading your comments but not reading my new post? humph!
Thats reserved for my elder Brother.
After all he is 6ft 5 inches tall and is a 130 Kgs. He is last of the giants.
And am reading comments coz I get them in mails.
Will check the post shortly.
Quote:
” EndQuote
“Aww… You are softening down on me…
Yassssssssssss! She is!! Dnt ask me how I know..
Oopps Sorry to cut into a personal conversation but Aniket.. being a male I thot I will share the hint with u.. after all! after all males should stand together when facing this Little Gal..who has a wonderful mind and is NOT little!!
)
hmm!!:-))
ok.. just came here for some light talk.. nothing else
byee
I know very little about the little girl. May be priyanka can give me some pointers on her.
And i smell something fishy about her being noce…. she must be planning something…
Yaaa hahahaha!!!!! I cannot tell u how I AM LAUGHING!!
ROFC some body said in answer to my ROFL..I believe it means Rolling over the Floor Crying!!!
Gosh!! Ya.. I get u!!!
that’s twin touching
nice post bro 
3 cheers 
Shravan,
Am glad you liked it. Thanks for visiting.
Nice, Aniket! Love the idea that she left her signature incomplete. What a wonderful, heartwarming, little vignette. I can “see” this scene play out as a scene in a movie. Beautiful, nostalgic flashback just before the ceremony. (Btw, is it her funeral or his son’s wedding? Each possibility creates a different feel in the nostalgic memory.)
Thanks a lot Aine!!!
And you have one hell of a ‘Thinking’ mind… I’ll give you that.
I never foresaw anyone thinking it could be the wedding ceremony. Of course that could make on nostalgic too. But I intended it to be her funeral.
Thank you so much for your comments. And everyone in your family is feeling better now.
“Two Lights” holds a special place for me, because it was my first contest. Thanks for resurrecting it! I’m looking forward to giving you feedback privately.
This was a great pic Jason.
This could have been used in so many different ways.
Though I have read only a few of its entries… am planning to read them as soon as I can to see how people reacted to it.
Thank you for your guidance.
I’m sorry (as usual) for being so late to this, Aniket. I do read all of your work on a feed, but I like to have time to devote to commenting. I have a breather now.
I, too, was touched by the flip from playful spontaneity to broken grief. I thought the unfinished signature was a beautiful twist…it lent a real sense of a shortened life, while also telling us that she lived very well. That they did.
I know Jason’s comments will steer you well…
Sarah,
I know that its been a tough week for you.
And also that with Easter and family coming over… everyone was pretty much occupied. But I increased my visible posts on the page from 3 to 4. Just to make sure you don’t miss reading this. Coz I soo wanted you to comment on this.
Jason steered me really well. And guess what? I made it to the forties club with this one… YAYYYY!!!!
I can’t possibly tell how delighted it makes me feel!!!
oh dear…
this made my eyes wet.
and so i cudn’t reply on the chat…gtalk.
beautifully written! Lots to learn from u…
Thank a lot!
“Happy to assist”
I just want to tell you that your blog is very interesting, bookmarked
Welcome and Thanks a lot!