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The Holiday

The Holiday

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As she stood on the bridge a gust of wind blew the hundred or so flags in her direction. The yellow one flew over her face and blocked her vision. It was a beautiful yellow, a shade she liked. She hurriedly removed the piece of cloth from her face as if she could not miss even a single second of gazing at the wonderful expanse of nature in front of her.

She could do nothing but marvel at the beauty of nature. It was serene yet in way so strong. She loved it so much that she could spend every single day of her life here, in the middle of nowhere. It was a place that she longed to be in, where she had no worries, no one to please but herself.

If only life were that simple, if only life were that uncomplicated. If only all that she had to ever do was stand here and look around.

Oh well she thought I might as well enjoy it while I’m here. She was so glad she had decided to come to Manali all by herself. At first her family was appalled to say the least by the idea of a single woman travelling so far away from home. After all she came from a culture where single women were supposed to be depending on someone to take care of them. They were not supposed to come to Manali just to be themselves. That’s what her father had thought.

It took enormous amount of persuasion to get her family to understand what she meant by being “herself”. Finally they gave in and let her go.

“Hi I’m Jacob”

She was startled at the sudden interruption in her thoughts.

“Oops I didn’t mean to scare you, Sorry”

He had hazel eyes, and sharp features she noticed.

“I’m Renu”

“You a tourist too?”

“Umm well…” Don’t talk to strangers beta, and don’t let anyone know you are alone. Her father’s words started ringing in her ears.

She shut off the voce irritatingly and said, “Yes a tourist, like everyone else here” and could feel herself smiling.

“Oh that’s great; I was wondering what you were doing here all alone leaning over the edge like this. For a second I thought you were going to jump off” he said a smile forming at the edge of his lips.

“Nah, I’m just this far from being that frustrated” she said gesturing with her finger and thumb.

He laughed almost a musical laugh. She liked the twinkle in his eyes when he did that.

“How did u know about this place? Not many people know about this bridge?”

“One of my friends told me I had to be here if I was Manali, soI asked around and after getting lost twice here I am”

“Oh well then I’m really lucky to have met you here eh?” he smiled that smile again

Don’t trust anyone. Her father’s voice again.

“Well if you say so” she felt the blood rush to her cheeks, and embarrassed she turned around to look at the beautiful expanse of the valley.

“You seem to know this place quite a bit, do you know those woods on the other end, they say are haunted”

“Ah! Yes they all are, aren’t they?” She giggled

“I’m serious there’s a legend of a whispering ghost out there he is said to have taken peoples souls away just by whispering into their ears.”

“Yeah right, and I’m the spirit of the first woman he killed and I’m going to have to do much less than whisper to kill you” she retorted sarcasm heavy in her tone.

“I can prove it to you, I’m a researcher on the subject and I came here after hearing numerous such incidents all the way from London”

“What kind of crazy people have the time to research on such things?”

My kind of people, and I don’t look crazy do I?

“Can’t say much we’ve just met”, she shrugged her shoulders.

“Hey look I’ve got a lot of gadgets with me too if you can’t be convinced.” He hurriedly took out weird look machines and wires and sensors of some kind from his backpack.

“And you think that would make me come out in the woods with you”

“I was hoping it would” he said it in a barely audible tone

“Oh well alright what’s there to lose, I’ll come along”

Was she a bit too trusting of this man? She pushed the thought away. He looks alright to me.

They stared walking towards the woods. She was stealing glances towards him all the while. His eyes were beautiful, so was his face.

As they were walking a sudden gust of wind blew the hundred or so flags in their direction. The yellow one flew over her face and it went right through her as if she wasn’t there.

She looked around; the guy with  hazel eyes was gone.

Amrita
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April 30, 2010 Post Under Flash Fiction - Comments
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  • http://intangibleabhisek.blogspot.com Abhi

    Now I believe why parents are correct at their place.. never trust a stranger :P

    just kiddin :)

    Just a typical one coming from You! Loved it though it was a bit scary for the RGV fans :) ))

    hehe!!

  • http://intangibleabhisek.blogspot.com Abhi

    the best part of the post was

    “Yeah right, and I’m the spirit of the first woman he killed and I’m going to have to do much less than whisper to kill you” she retorted sarcasm heavy in her tone.

    • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

      Abhi,
      I know its a bit too typical, i thought so too… but i wanted to contribute so badly here that i wrote watever came to my mind.. thanks for d good words…

  • KKD

    Well done!! As always the end is unexpected hoding you on to read the story right till the last word and alwas makin one eager to know whats going to happen next :-)

    @Abhi : RGV has no class or such a creative vision.. hehe..

    • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

      KKD
      You are too generous with your comments. Thanks a lot. will try and do better next time around. :)

  • Jason

    Hi,
    This piece is well written although there are some gramatical errors which one can easily neglect. :)
    The intensity was just right, somehow i felt undertones of personal feelings here as well.

    • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

      Jason,
      Yep u r right abt d grammar, but i was in a hurry to contribute… Thanks a lot for d good words. As far as personal undertones are concerned, i’d rather not have such an experience ;)

  • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

    Echo to Jason. The few grammatical errors in the narrative part at the start broke the flow for me like in the line “Oh well she thought I might as well enjoy it while I’m here.” But like Jason said the intensity was just right. And the piece turned awesome when you shifted the gears to dialog. Absolutely loved the ending!

    Thank you for joining here. Now don’t do your disappearing act again. :)

  • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

    Aniket,
    Yes i have made quite a few mistakes, but i subscribed here on 1st of May at 1 AM in d nite so i was in a hurry to contribute. Also i personally like to write more of dialogue in any story since it is more gripping but i wanted to try writing a little less of it so i could make my work look less monotonous. Guess i have a lot to learn. You are doing an amazing job with this site i must say. Now i’ll get enough practice for Jason’s (http://clarityofnight.blogspot.com) contests, and give u some tough competition. Thanks a lot :)

    • http://flashfiction.in Aniket

      Hmm.. Abt that… See… In life too in general and especially here… rules are just guidelines. :)

      So next time, don’t be in a rush. You can always write for an earlier prompt if you want to.
      I can delay the prompt by a day, no big deal, as its just us friends here at the moment. :)

      And I know what you mean. I suck at narration. But since, I’ve achieved comparatively much better command over dialog I am trying to improve upon narration too. So more narrative posts would be coming from me too.

      Writing in first person is another thing I suck at. Have to work on that too. Lets get better together, shall we. :)

  • http://lifeaseetees.blogspot.com/ Kits

    Loved the ending hon. Too much it was. Reminds me of my solo trip in the South and thank God for not meeting people who would steal my soul :)

    • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

      Kits
      Thanks a ton. And here i thought my ending was d worst part. i never wanted it to be a run of the mill twist in d tale story, but i’m happy u liked it. :)

  • http://margaretsagri.blogspot.com/ Margaret

    Hi Amrita

    You came up with an amazing piece to say you wrote it in such a hurry.

    I love the way she kept remembering her father’s words while talking to the stranger.

    The ending was completely unexpected and gave it a remarkable finish. Well done!

    • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

      Thanks Margaret. The father’s word part was out of experience. i somehow always go by his advices when in a difficult situation. Thanks again for all the good words. :)

  • http://adycted.blogspot.com adycted

    You know i could almost picture you saying ‘I’m just this far from being that frustrated’ and then gesturing with your finger and thumb. :)
    It was slick, fast and impressive. Its great that you pitched in. you know what they say… Better late!

    • http://amsko.wordpress.com Amrita

      He he thanks adi, u know me too well… ;) I read your post and it gave me the inspiration to get my writing juices flowing…. so thanks for that. :)

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