On the Champs-Élysées
Written by: Machel
“It’s so nice here. I’m glad we didn’t stay in the museum, I just want to hear the sounds of the street right now. I’m happy to sip my Café au lait and feel the sun on my face. At least I’m happy the sun isn’t beating down on my back like it is yours. Why do you think I chose this seat?……..I think my butt is stuck to this chair……..will you speak to me please?”
“How can you be so cheerful? How can you pretend that nothing is wrong? I’m not like you, I can’t do it.”
“What else can I do?”
“I don’t know…….something.”
“Would it make you feel better if I locked myself in a dark room and cried? Believe me, I have cried. I’ve cried and screamed and blamed everyone from God to the doctor to the door man. It doesn’t do any good.”
“But you have accepted it. You’ve given up.”
“No sweety. I have not given up. Lean your head back and feel the sun on your face. Smell the smell of fresh baked bread? I hear such a happy bird somewhere in those trees. Do you? Listen. Listen to the laughter of the group at that table. I haven’t given up on life, I’m experiencing it for the first time. And I’m loving it.”
“Please…please don’t leave me…”
“Stop it! This is not my choice. Don’t you dare put that guilt on me right now. Do. Not. Cry. Look at me……don’t cry. I don’t want this, I didn’t choose it but here it is. I want to live with you and love you and experience life with you now. Now is our time. Live life with me for whatever time we still have left to do it.”
“I don’t know h-..how. I don’t know how to look around it. I can’t ignore it. I kiss you … or … or laugh with you and in the back of my mind I think, will this be the last kiss or the last laugh? Will this be the last drink we share? Will today be the last time I can see you smile the way you do. I can’t get out from under this. It’s poisoning me. It’s all I see.”
“I am sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry? How can you say that? What in the world do you have to be sorry for?”
…
…
“Do you think there are croissants in Heaven? Do you think there are super hot naked angel men who will bring me my order?
“If there are, remind me to kick their asses when I get there”
…
“I love you. I have loved you more than I ever imagined possible. I have loved every single thing about you since I was 15 years old. You are truely another piece of me. You are what makes me who I am because without you…without your love…I would be nothing.“
“Don’t say that. You are you. You are unique. I have been so honored to have had you for the time God has allowed me. And I’m really pissed that he is taking you back.”
“I know.”
“I love you too. From the moment I saw you…I…I will never love anyone…an-…”
…
…
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Thank you, my love. Thank you for …. for everything.”