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Off the game

Off the game

Written by:

“Excuse me. Is this seat taken?”


I look up from my magazine only to stare at those perfect set of whites. He had to be a dentist. Or a model for a toothpaste company. Judging by his suit and glasses, I had my money on dentist. I realise that I’ve just been ogling at him for the past five seconds. Five. Long. Seconds.

I brush my hair off my face. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Sorry to have bothered you. I just asked if that seat was taken.” He gestured towards the seat next to me. “It’s no bother if you’re waiting for someone.”

“No-no, I’m not waiting for anyone. No.” Shit. Now, how many NOs did I say there? I might as well have asked him to marry me. I grab my coat and purse that occupied the next seat. The bag slips from my hand I spill the contents all over the floor. Curse you Murphy. When anything can go wrong, it reaallly does go wrong. “Fuck. Sorry. I’m sorry.” I just had to say fuck! As if me being clumsy wasn’t enough. He must now think I’m foul mouthed as well. I am on a roll today.

“Looks like I’ve disrupted your peace.” He grins at my pathetic state. “Allow me help you .” He gets down and starts picking up the contents.

Disrupt my peace? Who is he, a spokesperson for the UN? That makes him a dentist who also part-times as a spokesperson for the UN. Something is wickedly wrong with me today.

I go for the cosmetics before the keys. Somehow it felt like the logical thing to do. No one wants a total stranger to know what lipstick I’m wearing, right? He hands me over the keys, the quarters and the dimes, gum, gum wrappers(!) and things I didn’t even knew I carried along in that old purse of mine. I’ve been saving to buy that Vuitton but now I feel I should have let go of this one long ago.

He pauses as he picks up my Asimov. Great! Now he’ll think I’m a nerd. He gives a look of admiration and says, “Ah, Caves of steel. Such a good read. Not as good as the foundation saga, which I’m sure you’d have read. But a very good read, none-the-less.”

“Yes. I have. Splendid series indeed.” And I can recite all the names in the series. Backwards.

“There’s something about his work that just leaves you in awe. He recreates this fictitious worlds with spaceships and robots; and yet makes you believe its all real. One can see his world as you read the book.”

I could kiss him right now. I want to.

We spend the next fifteen minutes discussing science fiction to fantasy. The books we loved and hated. The best fifteen minutes I spent on railway waiting lounge. Make that the best fifteen minutes ever.

I hear the announcement being made for my train.

“Yours?”, he asks.

The thought of missing it crosses my mind. “Yes”, I manage.

“Let me help you with this.” He takes my coat and starts walking with me.

“You’re boarding the same one?”, I ask… and wish.

“No. But I hope you don’t mind me escorting you? Its the least I can do for the nice conversation you’ve gifted me this evening.”

I reply with a five inch grin as I silently pray – God. Why don’t you more of these specimen?

He handed me my coat as I hopped on my car and waved my hand, “This is it then.”

“I guess”, he waves back.

“I loved the little talk we had. Thank you.”

“I wish it wasn’t so little too.”

Well if he thinks I’m a slut, then its his loss. I take out my pen and scribble my number on the first page of the book. It looked kinda funny right below – Caves of Steel. I tear it and throw it on the platform as the train starts moving.

I see him  pick it up and gives a short bow that makes my heart flutter.

I start to make my way towards my seat and… my cell rings.



Ever since I took the red pill, life's been an ongoing mission to find out how deep this rabbit hole goes. I'm mostly harmless, unless... arrgh... unless you do THAT!
Aniket
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August 16, 2010blog Post Under Flash Fiction - Comments
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  • Ric

    Hi Aniket I am not sure if this story is for the old or the new prompt. It has the old prompt thumbnail, but could work for either. I really enjoyed this story. It is seldom that I laugh out loud when reading. I found it totally believable and was wondering if you were lucky enough to be able to fit a real life incident to the prompt?

  • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

    Hi Ric. It was for the old prompt. Its an interesting observation that it can fit for the new prompt too. Guess, I’ll have to come up with another one for the new prompt now. :) I experimented with first person POV here. I generally don’t feel comfortable writing anything other than in 3rd person. So I’m thrilled that you found it enjoyable. And as much as I would have loved to be on the receiving end for her number, sadly this is pure fiction. ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/narcissusvictorious THREE

    Wow… this is nice. In fact, I could personally relate to this kind of experience minus the physical clumsiness and the exchange of numbers …it so does bring back some sweet memories of random brief encounters for me :)
    I have to say THANK YOU for this story. Made me smile. Made my day :)

    • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

      I’m glad it did. So how many times have you thrown away your number? And where exactly? *Puts his boots on – Grabs the bike keys*

  • http://cachememory.wordpress.com Rohan

    One thing i like about your writing Aniket is the way you set your stories in believable backgrounds.
    I liked this one for its simplicity and the connect – that a lot of people would find themselves in a situation like this.

    • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

      Thanks man. I wish I found myself in this situation. I did have a wonderful conversation with a girl at Barnes and Nobles about Richard Bach’s books. But it didn’t go as far to get her number. May be one day she’ll read this. :D

  • http://shelli-proffitt-howells.blogspot.com/ Shelli

    Loved it! I like seeing inside her mind, the awkwardness that didn’t deter him at all. I’m so glad she took the chance and I love the possibilities that unfold because of it.

    • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

      Oh, we guys love it, when a girl is off her game. Well, we love a confident girl too, who own the game. Well alright, we just love women! :)

  • http://www.senoritaspeak.blogspot.som Senorita

    @ AT…Loved it… nicely written :)

    • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

      Thanks for stopping by. :) Missed you around.

  • http://lyricsandmaladies.blogspot.com/ joaquin

    it’s funny – i thought you were stretching your legs by writing from the female perspective – and here i find you’re also stretching by writing first-person.

    a well-told story with wonderful details – the purse incident is fantastic – and i love the inner dialogue – slightly neurotic but not overdone. it shimmers.

    • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

      Well you know me, I’m all about stretching out. ;) *beats his own drum*

      I was quite nervous, frankly. And it took me three times as much time to edit it, than it took to write it.
      I’m glad it didn’t turn out too bad.

  • http://www.waltzingwords.blogspot.com Shruti

    at the risk of sounding like a stereotypical girl, i will say it made me go ‘aawwww’ :D
    loved it..especially the use of the female perspective :)

    • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

      Trust me, I won’t hold that against you. Its a welcome response. ‘Awww’ is always better than ‘Aww-ful’. :)

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