Note Left Under A Picnic Table Near The Griffith Park Planetarium
Written by: joaquin
Dude this sux.
Beats chem. and study hall. What did u bring 4 lunch?
Forgot. Is there machines?
Didn’t see any. U want half my sandwich?
Ok. Thx. Wtf are we doing here?
Learning about stars, duh. And not smelling Ms. Carmody’s no soap using ass.
No I mean like wtf are we doing here on this planet. What if it goes on forever backwards and forwards? All the space and dust and stars are really just a molecule in something else. Or what if there is a tiny world living on the atoms on the electrons in my hair?
R u high right now?
Yeah a little. But what’s the point? All this space isn’t really space, it’s full of all kinds of shit and we’re just tiny people on a tiny planet in a tiny galaxy in the corner of a cloud of crap floating around.
Wow you’re in a good mood. But #1, electrons don’t have atoms, it’s the other way around. And #2, so what if there’s a bunch of random shit in the sky? We still have a chem. test on Friday and u obviously need to study. A lot.
Did u see those nebulaz? When you’re little u think the sky is the biggest thing there is and then u find out there are all these other skies past the sky. And then we’re all just made up of a bunch of tiny atoms and electrons and whatever. It doesn’t make any sense. And it doesn’t even matter. OMG I am going to fucking strangle that guy if he says how about that one more time.
I know. How about that universe? Look, a dipper, how about that? Doooofus! Hey did anyone ask u to homecoming yet?
No. I thought Dylan was going to but then at Brianna’s party I told him I only go out with guys that can suck their own dicks. I thought it was hilarious but I was really wasted. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m a whore now. BFD. Did u ask Madison.
No, Kevin did. She blew him off but he’s kind of my friend so it would kind of suck either way. Brianna had a party?
Yeah, Saturday. U didn’t miss much. When is this over?
I don’t know. So r u going?
To homecoming? What for? I can listen to lame pop music at home. Dances are stupid anyway.
Yeah they are. I’m probably going to skip it too.
My dad left.
Back to Iraq? I thought they had to give him 6 months before they sent him on another tour?
No, he left us. A few days ago for some redneck skank he met over there. Don’t say anything ok? If school finds out they’ll make me go see that fucking weirdo shrink again.
OMG that SUCKS! Wtf? Why didn’t u tell me?
Dude, keep up. It doesn’t matter. I didn’t say anything at first because I didn’t really believe it. I thought it was just something he said because they were fighting. U know how they are. But then he left and he took the dog so I know he’s not coming back.
That’s crazy! How does it not matter? I can’t believe he took Baxter. That’s fucked.
Whatever. He hasn’t been around much and even when he’s here he’s not really here. He forgot my birthday last year, remember? Anyway I was so mad at first. And sad. I don’t even know what it was. Like I was frozen or something. Or totally blazed. U know when you’re so high u can’t move? Well u probably don’t but it was like that. But now I’m sitting in this stupid freezing upside down toilet bowl room and it’s like it’s all the same.
Um, u lost me.
There’s stars in the ceiling, there’s stars in the sky. What’s the difference? My dad came back, he left, so what? Everything just keeps on doing whatever it does and u can’t stop any of it, so what’s the point? I could jump in front of a bus tomorrow and it wouldn’t matter, u know?
No, it would matter a lot. I get what u mean about feeling small but come on. Just because there are all kinds of things u can’t change doesn’t mean u don’t count.
Well I know people would be sad and whatever, but they’d get over it. People die all the time. People leave all the time.
Ok so u don’t matter to the cosmos. Nobody does. But u matter to me. And if u jumped in front of a bus your dad would still be a total dick and we’d still have a chem. test and the sun would still come up. But I wouldn’t have a best friend to show my poems to or teach me guitar chords or sit on the roof with all night or pass notes to during boring field trips. And every time I heard a new band or saw a new slasher movie or wanted to call someone for no reason and talk for 3 hours, I’d think of u and I’d end up going crazy wondering why I never told you this and no, I’d never get over it for my whole life. Because u fucking matter to me more than anything in this whole stupid shit filled universe.
Dude r u crying?
No why r u?
It looked like u were a little.
Kind of looks like u are.
Shut up. I’m starving did u bring chips?