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Drive Safe

Drive Safe

Written by: nutan.julka


I had the thrill in me and the music was fast.
I wanted to reach home to her, it was a surprise for my sweet heart.
did all the tricks to avoid traffic and was best at it,
along came a zebra crossing – I had a hit.
It was a mother and her little boy. Things stood still and blood ran fast.
Speeding kills had read and heard, & happened to me and life turned too fast.
in a sentence – I now realize how would the kid have grown handsome and nice.



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Written by: nutan.julka on August 28, 2010.
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August 28, 2010 Post Under FlashFiction Not-on-Prompt - Comments
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3 Responses to “Drive Safe”

  1. nutan.julka says:
    August 28, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    hi guys this is my 1st short story enjoy :)

    Reply
  2. Rohan says:
    August 30, 2010 at 12:57 am

    For a first timer, i would say it is a good attempt.
    Too bad for the kid, though. You could have made it better by describing the excitement even more and keeping the reader stuck to the monitor. Not that I wasn’t but i felt that i needed more. :)

    Keep writing.

    Reply
  3. Aniket says:
    August 31, 2010 at 2:06 am

    Rohan sums it up pretty nicely. I too thought that for a subject matter so serious and dark, the rhyme scheme used was probably not the best approach. For me, it stole the voice that should’ve come out sorrowful. The subject of accidents is always a deep one to probe into as it can have so many implications. Though not too well executed, I loved the concept behind the movie, Reservation Road. They brilliantly portrayed how one accident can change lives of those involved forever.

    Don’ worry though, no one gets it perfect the first time. So keep writing.

    Reply

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