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Bad Luck

Bad Luck

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The fog lights of the heavily dented sedan flickered as a last attempt to illume but did not succeed. It was not the first component failure suffered by Lillian’s car and whatever that remained screamed for an overhaul. At least, the dents were present before the nth hand purchase. Several taunts, close shaves and breakdowns later she planned on to save to buy a new car. So, Lillian decided reach work early each day so that she could clock in more hours.

Before she could mouth a curse, a Mack rammed straight into the bonnet. The bumper pivoted the car for a quarter of a circle before the hood squashed against the truck’s windshield. It all looked like a perfect choreography, straight from an action flick. Gravity pulled the weight of the car and the vehicle retraced the arc. The driver of the truck, fatigued and maybe inebriated decided to flee the scene. Lillian had not passed out by then. She realized that she was pinned down to her seat. The shock took her voice away and the tattered covers were slowly soaking up red. Lillian lived for another four hours till traffic started when the fog cleared.

The post mortem report ascertained excessive blood loss as the cause of Lillian’s death.

The car was almost as good as it was before the accident except for one vital component when investigators confirmed that the seat belt that was one of the few working parts of the car which malfunctioned after the impact and did not retract out.

Rohan
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September 28, 2010 Post Under Flash Fiction - Comments
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  • http://lyricsandmaladies.blogspot.com/ joaquin

    once, on the freeway, i saw a truck ram a car. it’s a scary thing, just the physics of it. and the thought of dying slowly after a car accident is scary too.

    i like the irony here – going in early to save up for a new car, her old car betraying her – but i do wish i knew a bit more about her – a little more connection. that said, it’s still a tight story.

    • http://cachememory.wordpress.com Rohan

      I agree Joaquin! I have to learn the nuances of character development…this piece could have been a bit more longer…I understand by what you are saying here..will try to improve in the next one. :)

  • Ric

    This is a complete story. No need for the reader to add anything. It is amazing the amount of information in so few words.

    • http://cachememory.wordpress.com Rohan

      Thank you Ric…I had this decided that I was not going to cross more than 300 words for this one…glad you like it. But as I said, i have to learn to make the connect better. :)

  • http://foolishnessofthings.blogspot.com Aniket

    I hate them too… those seat belts. And helmets. I know they are meant for our own safety.
    But its not nearly as fun driving a bike when you can’t feel the wind through your hair.

    That said, it is a scary image you painted here. Luck can’t get much worse than this.
    Btw, there was a highly appreciative comment about your story on FB. Just so you know. :) :)

    • http://cachememory.wordpress.com Rohan

      Thanks Aniket!

      I am outta FB’s bounds, will anyway check from my roomy’s account…thanks for the good words.

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