Light
Written by: watersand
You remember the first new year’s day that we spent together, don’t you? I was eighteen and you were twenty eight! And holidays meant only one thing to us. It feels funny looking back to it. The feeling of being overwhelmed, the zing of every one of those ‘firsts’ , the feeling of ‘i-want-to-say-so-many-things-but-i-am-speechless’, the feeling of wanting, being desperate, foolishness, genuine ‘starry-eyed’ness. All of those!
I know you were serious about it all. I know you had wanted it to be about just the two of us. And I really believed I was too. So I thought I was okay with dull colors, bland food, ‘no-no-adventure-sport’, talking less, being sophisticated, being thoughtful about everything, trying to not make mistakes at all and everything else which you had learned and were so ready to share with me. I indeed loved us that way. You know synergy and all that!
Then one day, I saw a bright yellow tee- shirt. I loved it. You hated it. And I know that’s where it began.The downward spiral.
I promise, Vish only came much later. I know you didn’t believe it then, you won’t believe it now. But I know for sure that he came only after the yellow tee-shirt. Oh was he a joy! He surely turned my world upside down. And threw away those fanciful images that I had built of us. Vish was different. I know he never gave all of him to me, he told me it was inhuman to expect that. But I was in awe for whatever I saw of him. He brightened my life in ways that I could never have imagined. Risks, surprises, really big surprises, red, purple, magenta, foolhardiness, drunkenness and raw emotions blew me away! One day I felt I was over it. I was done seeing all those colors. Vish saw me looking at the exits.
This new year’s day, I spent watching the skies. And I thought of you and Vish. How you were like those small lights that always stood lighting the paths on all days- new year’s or not. Down-to-earth, simple, dull and always. And Vish was like those fireworks that brighten up the skies so brilliantly on special days! Bright, glorious and transient.
It was never a choice between the two of you after I had known you both! I had to look beyond. I had to stay far.
I obviously chose darkness. And then, the sun came along!
