Redemption
Written by: Subbu Ananth
“I don’t want to live anymore”, the voice on the other side, sounded frustrated but not desperate.
This was not new to Raj. A trained counselor, he volunteered his time over the weekend for Atma, a suicide helpline. Most times, his calls would start as abrupt, leaving little time to gain control. But this time, he felt different. The voice on the other side sounded very familiar. A chill ran through his spine as he waited to hear the next word.
“There is absolutely no point”.
Maya, it was! How could he ever forget that voice? That husky tone, unparalleled diction and confidence would make any person go weak in the knees. And add to that, she was stunning. Dreamy green eyes, long locks casually thrown over the shoulder and a permanent brownish tan, she looked every inch a diva.
Speechless, he tried hard to control a rush of emotions. Maya had separated from him many years back for reasons he could not never fathom. Why would she dump him so abruptly? And then, vanish away from his life? It was a rejection, Raj had never overcome. For days on end, he sulked, depressed to the extent of taking his life. The violent aftermath of the event was a lesson he lived through every morning seeing the cracked tiles in the shower cubicle. Surprised, shocked, angry and happy all at once, images of Maya piled up in a heap making it impossible for him to think straight.
Would this be the redemption he was waiting for? Stop her from the mindless act as he would do with any other caller or let her take her life for what she did to him?
“Wait,” he said, masking a tone already choked with anguish.
“You are young, beautiful and just half way through your life. You’ve possibly achieved just a fraction of what God deemed to be a potential in you. If you see a reason to take your life, that reason is outside you. And if it is any person who has got you here, you don’t want to lose to that person, again!”
Raj knew deep inside that he was faltering, not sure which way he was going.
“Excuse me. What do you know about me?”
“I can imagine someone like you would be lively, a joy to behold and warmth that one should be lucky to possess. Control is not anything you will ever lose.”
“How are you so confident?”
“Your voice and emotions betray that you are a 30-something, full of cheer. Probably distraught at someone for causing misery. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t let go of such a beautiful life for any person. I would rather go get myself a shoulder tattoo and a purple streak in my hair.”
“Eerie. I’ve always wanted to get these done. “
“Then, go do it. Trust me; I have gone through this too. And I have learnt that violence towards you takes the fun out of the challenge. We are born to fight discomfort, not give up the fight.
(Raj couldn’t believe he was saying all these. Was he the same person who contemplated revenge few minutes back?)
“My partner moved on and I know I was not the cause”
“That’s not ok, I know. But since it’s over, you can only give him a chance to realize his error of judgment”
“Do you believe in that?”
“Yes”
“Well, I don’t. But I see your point. It will be stupid to expect him to come back. And I know it won’t matter to him even if I take my life”
“It matters to someone somewhere, I am sure”.
“Yeah, possibly it does. And I hope it keeps them happy. Maybe, blinded by impulse, I have caused similar distress in the past that I now regret. What goes around, comes around I guess. I need to remember this forgive and forget lesson”
Raj hung up. Unhappy for Maya. Happy, he had saved her life. In the dark recesses, a redemption not worth anything.
Maya, smiled too. The hoax call, she hoped, would help Raj get over the past and move on…