Option
Written by: watersand
You might think of me as a confident, self-assured, charming and decent person. What you don’t see is how much I am obsessed about having my options. It might be a disorder but I got to have my options. I eat only at restaurants that have a buffet. Or at least a salad bar! I always cook more than one dish. I always have at least two pants, shirts, pairs of socks, shoes, watches, deodorants ready for the next day. I always have to choose between a few things. I am perfectly comfortable with infinity. I love the thrill of being conflicted, the thrill of working out the pros and cons, the glory of choosing one over many others, the feeling of power through it all.
And why should anyone think that my love life should be any different. I have always dated multiple people. And whenever I have met new people, I have enjoyed the process of making a decision on which relationship should I be letting go. Of course I have been let gone too, but I have always managed to have options.
Being in the game for twelve long years I began to think it’s perhaps time take a plunge and get married! There are these two people that I’m seeing of late and both of them have been mildly suggesting the next step. But I can’t work with mere suggestions. I can’t assume my options and make a decision on one. My options have to be concrete. And that’s why I bought these two rings! Tomorrow I’m going to ask both of them. I am very nervous! I am going to be devastated if either of them refuses because that would mean that I wouldn’t have options to choose from.
But I do strongly feel that I will hear “yes” two times tomorrow! And then, there would be that period of extreme delight. Of choosing, weighing my options, letting one go and embracing the other.