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Can tears freeze?

She had been sitting on the bench for so many hours that her bottom felt numb.  Sitting and clutching the note with her ungloved hand.  She had watched the skin of that hand turn from chapped red to dull blue and stared indifferently as the snow gently drifted into piles on the top of her shoes.  Someone hurried past but she didn’t raise her eyes to see them.  She couldn’t.  These hours in this frozen park, on this icy bench made the outside of her body feel as numb as the note had made the inside.

Can tears freeze? Will they leave a pitted trail down the flesh of my face?  Will the cold wind claim my fingers and toes as this note has claimed the last bit of life in my heart?  Will the frost kill my body the way he has killed my soul?

snip of a blackened toe – “it’s over”

snap of a curled dead finger – “I’m finished”

scrape of damaged flesh – “…try to forget about me”

saw of useless limb – “…what the hell I was thinking”

pluck of dry withered eye – “…never really loved you”

The sky was growing dark.  The cold had seeped into the lining of her boots.  Finally she lifted her head and drew in a freezing breath.  Her body cramped and ached as she slowly made her way to the copse of trees behind the neighboring bench.  Releasing the note, she watched it flutter to the snowy ground.  Then, after removing her coat and dropping it aside, she lay her tired cold body in the snow and rest her head on the letter.

Warm fresh tears ran down her face and she heard the tiny tick of them hitting the paper beneath her face.  No, they won’t freeze.  They are the only warmth left within me.

Night fell, the snow freezing her body the same way the note had frozen her within.  Her tears left a faint pink line of warmth down her cold blue cheeks.

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May 25, 2011notice Post Under Flash Fiction - Read More

Âme Soeur

“Do you think I do not see you there in the shadows, voleur? I am afraid of you no more. Come rob the femme infirme! Take my wallet, écume! Is that what you want? Come rape the woman in the chair. Vermine. Take what you will, I can no longer suffer you following me! DO IT, DO IT AND END THIS GAME!!!”

 ”I play no game Mademoiselle,” an answer came from the figure in the shadows. “Had I intended to remain hidden from your eye, I assure you, it would be done”

 ”How did you enter my home?” she asked, gripping the hard rubber wheels of her chair.

 ”I can do many things, mon ami. Things you dream to do from the prison of your chair”

 ”You mock my maladie? You? A thief who slinks through the shadows and stalks the infirme? Take from me what you will and leave me in peace!”

 ”Mademoiselle, I desire neither your purse nor your body” the man in the shadows said.

 ”You are to kill me then?” she wispered.

 A long sigh drifted from the shadows and then he stepped forward into the dim light of the apartment. Impeccibly dressed in an expensive black suit with a crisp white shirt beneath. His collar length black hair slicked back away from his face. He raised his eyes to meet hers. Eyes of crystal blue. Eyes of ice.

“Non ma femme, I am not here to take your life. I am here to give you life,” his words thick and smooth, wrapped themselves around her like a blanket.

“I am not your woman…” she said weakly.

“Cela est vrai, you are not. And yet even now, though you know me not, I sense a certain longing within you. A longing that has called to me for many days. The same longing I have the power to fulfill for you.”

“How long have you been following me”

“Following sounds so déplaisant. Non, I observed you. I witnessed the pain this life has given you being bound to this chair,” he indicated her wheelchair with the flick of his long elegant fingers. “I have seen the lutte that is your life”. His eyes never left hers as he moved from the corner of the room to stand before her. Slowly he lowered himself until they were face to face. “I have felt you struggle to be seen for more than these jambes inutiles”.

At the mention of her legs, he laid his hands upon them. The useless appendages that had lain limp against the footrest of her metal prison her entire life. But as his hands smoothed along the long numb flesh, her skin began to tingle beneath his caress.

“Oui, I have observed you for many days, mon amour, but your heat called to me many years ago. I had but to find you.” he said softly. “Forgive me for causing you wait so long.”

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but no sound escaped her lips. Crisp blue eyes held her silent.

“Your heart cries out for love. Your legs long to dance. Your body longs to feel passion. And I, mon coeur, I can give you these things.” As his hands continued on down her legs to her feet, they left a tingling path of ice behind them. Cold needles, the awakening of long dead nerves. Her skin prickled and began to throb. But when he suddenly removed his hands and stood, death returned to her legs like the slow ooze of syrup.

“What are you?” her voice trembled and she gripped the hand rests of her chair until her knuckles turned white.

“I am what you wish me to be, ma chère. I am everything and nothing. I am the darkness and the light. Life and death. And I have been waiting for you for so…so very long.”

“Me?”

“Oui, vous.” At this, he slid his strong hand between her back and the chair; another beneath her worthless legs. He lifted and carried her across the room with little effort. When he gently lowered her to the divan, he followed until his hard body hovered over her. A feeling of total peace crept over her. Her body hummed and grew restless. She breathed in his breath. Crystal blue eyes and gleaming white teeth swam before her.

“Will I be dead?” she asked dreamily.

“Gone from this life of pain and sorrow. Dead to the longing that tortures your heart and soul. No longer to dream of being free. Oui. Cette mort est la liberté. Cette mort est de vivre.  Be with me, my love. For I suffer the same pain, the same longing, the same unquenchable desire for love.”

His warm tongue gently slid across her throat and her pulse raced in answer.

“You have but to ask, mon bijou. Ask me to take you with me…” Sharp teeth nipped the sensitive skin of her throat. A bolt of energy shot from her neck to the bottom of her feet. Her limbs tingled and pulsed in time with his breath. Warmth pooled between her legs.

“Dance with me, mon rêve. Ask me.” His hunger barely leashed.

“Oui…” she finally whispered. “Oui, take me. Prends-moi avec vous…..please….” she cried. Her body arched into him.

She heard him release a breath and felt his lips lift into a smile. 

Then the sudden sharp pierce of teeth.

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Imminent

“I can’t breathe!!!…I..I can’t breathe!!” she gasped. 

Drew groped around in the smothering darkness  patting along the wet walls of the cave until he felt his sister’s body balled up in the small, dusty space.  Grabbing the neck of her t-shirt, he pulled it up to cover her mouth and nose then laid his body over hers until the shower of rocks stopped pelting his back.

Once the sound of sliding earth quieted, the only noise left in the little tomb was Kellie’s muffled sobs.

“Shhhhhh…I can’t find the lantern, let me find the lantern, be quiet,” he whispered.

Pulling the shirt away from her face, Kellie inhaled a quick breath of dust and burst into a barking cough.  “I CAN’T BREATHE!!!”

“Please, please just calm down Kellie!  Try to be calm. I need to find the lantern!!”

She continued to cough until Drew heard her vomit onto the gravel floor.  Taking her in his arms again, he laid his head on her back and let his tears escape quietly.  He couldn’t let her hear him break.  He had to get them out but he had no idea where they had taken the wrong turn.  The tumble of rocks that had covered Tim and blocked the opening to the small tunnel had continued its shower of pebbles for what seemed like hours.  He needed to think.

“Kellie, please don’t panic.  We have some food and water, I just need to find the lantern.  We will find a way out.”  He said, hoping to sound sure of himself. 

He began feeling along the bottom of the cave again.  Looking for something, anything.  But, found only more rocks and dirt.  And a shoe.  A shoe that was not connected to either his or his sister’s leg.  A shoe that was still on the foot of their friend, Tim.  Drew followed the leg up to mid-calf until he felt the base of a bolder pinning the boys body to the floor.

“Drew?  My head hurts and I have to pee.” Kellie sobbed weakly from her corner of the cave.  “Something keeps dripping me and I can’t breathe.”

“Just give me a minute Kellie, please.  Please let me find the lantern…..”

“But Drew, Tim had the lantern…and the pack,” she whispered.

Tim had the pack.  Tim had the damn pack.  Tim left the pack back in the main cave because the hole they pushed through had been too tight.  No pack, no lantern, no food. 

“Something keeps dripping on me!,” Kellie sobbed.  “I… I just peed, Drew, I’m sorry……I’m sorry….I…”

“It’s ok Kellie..it’s ok.  Don’t worry.  I have some matches.  Hold on.  It’s ok.”  Drew soothed.

He stuck his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the matchbook.  Opening the cover, he ran his fingers over the unused matches inside.  Two.  Only two.  He pulled off  the first and struck it.  Instantly, the sputtering flame rose.  The smell of sulfur strong enough to cut through the dusty air.  The space was small. Only the size of Drew’s closet at home.  Close.  So close.  The limited air in the tiny coffin brown with silt.  The opening to the cave was completely sealed with a mound of rubble.  Tim’s lifeless legs sticking out of the heap, one cocked sideways at an odd angle.

“Drew?” his sister whispered.

He turned his eyes to her.  A pale look of horror on her face as she gazed at her blood covered hands. 

“Wh…what…wh…,” he stammered.

She turned her head to the side and Drew saw the gash that parted her hair and exposed white skull. 

“My head hurts,” she whispered again.

The match sputtered out.

She coughed until she retched again in the darkness.  Drew pulled the last match from the pack.

“No….save it,” Kellie whispered.

Drew quickly struck the last match and looked at his sister.  She had leaned back against the cave wall.  The front of her shirt covered with the gritty blood that had spewed from her mouth. 

“Who knows we are here Drew?” she whispered so faintly that if they had not been in total silence, she would have been inaudible.

“No one.” He whispered back.

A shower of sand fell on them again and the match sputtered out.

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On the Champs-Élysées

On the Champs-Élysées

“It’s so nice here.  I’m glad we didn’t stay in the museum, I just want to hear the sounds of the street right now.  I’m happy to sip my Café au lait and feel the sun on my face.  At least I’m happy the sun isn’t beating down on my back like it is yours.  Why do you think I chose this seat?……..I think my butt is stuck to this chair……..will you speak to me please?”

“How can you be so cheerful?  How can you pretend that nothing is wrong?  I’m not like you, I can’t do it.”

“What else can I do?”

“I don’t know…….something.”

“Would it make you feel better if I locked myself in a dark room and cried?  Believe me, I have cried.  I’ve cried and screamed and blamed everyone from God to the doctor to the door man.  It doesn’t do any good.”

“But you have accepted it.  You’ve given up.”

“No sweety. I have not given up.  Lean your head back and feel the sun on your face.  Smell the smell of fresh baked bread?  I hear such a happy bird somewhere in those trees.  Do you?  Listen.  Listen to the laughter of the group at that table.   I haven’t given up on life, I’m experiencing it for the first time.  And I’m loving it.”

“Please…please don’t leave me…”

“Stop it!  This is not my choice.  Don’t you dare put that guilt on me right now.  Do. Not. Cry.  Look at me……don’t cry.  I don’t want this, I didn’t choose it but here it is.  I want to live with you and love you and experience life with you now.  Now is our time.  Live life with me for whatever time we still have left to do it.”

“I don’t know h-..how.  I don’t know how to look around it.  I can’t ignore it.  I kiss you … or … or laugh with you and in the back of my mind I think, will this be the last kiss or the last laugh?  Will this be the last drink we share?  Will today be the last time I can see you smile the way you do.  I can’t get out from under this.  It’s poisoning me.  It’s all I see.”

“I am sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?  How can you say that?  What in the world do you have to be sorry for?”

“Do you think there are croissants in Heaven?  Do you think there are super hot naked angel men who will bring me my order?

“If there are, remind me to kick their asses when I get there”

“I love you.  I have loved you more than I ever imagined possible.  I have loved every single thing about you since I was 15 years old.  You are truely another piece of me.  You are what makes me who I am because without you…without your love…I would be nothing.

“Don’t say that.  You are you.  You are unique.  I have been so honored to have had you for the time God has allowed me.  And I’m really pissed that he is taking you back.”

“I know.”

“I love you too.  From the moment I saw you…I…I will never love anyone…an-…”

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

“Thank you, my love.  Thank you for …. for everything.”

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July 5, 2010 Post Under Flash Fiction - Read More
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