“Insignificant. That’s what they think of us.”

“I respectfully disagree commander. I’m sure they never intended to hurt our feelings. In fact there was a lot of support for us from the masses.”

“Our feelings? You must be joking. Those ignorant fools don’t even know we exist. I never agreed with our President to adapt their culture and language. Our language had 531 alphabets. A whole 504 more than this stupid English we have adapted ourselves too.”

“You mean 505, sir. But the whole point was too simplify our communication systems. Also, it would have made rehabilitation easier to their planet if we ever had troubles on our own.”

“We are a far superior race. We can not possibly get into any trouble these earthlings could help us with. The only thing they seem good at is increasing their numbers. Their numbers increase in integral proportions. I’m amazed how they do that when their species possesses only one genitalia per specimen. Its shocking.”

“Erm. I’m sure they are good at other things too. Sir. We have observed and implemented other systems from them too. Like their judicial process. By not killing anyone who committed a crime and having them imprisoned after having them tried in the court has both increased our relatively negligent population and also increased employment prospect. Not to mention their game of football. You do realize a petition has been made to convince other planets to take up the sport too and maybe, then we can have interplanetary club teams and all the planets can compete in galaxy cups every held every century.   The possibilities are limitless. It’ll help in establishing peace across the universe and understand new life and new civilizations.”

“Did you just quote Star Trek on me? You know I hate that thing. Universe is not something you can dress pretty and talk your way through. You’ll be disintegrated even before you step out of your solar system. Leave alone your galaxy. Now, Firefly I can relate too. But don’t ever mention Star Trek again.”

“I’m sorry sir. Won’t happen again.”

“I see we’ve reached within range. Shoot the fizziles.”

“Are you sure you want to do this sir? This may be considered as an act of war.”

“An act of war would have been had I shot them with gizziles and annihilated their race. This will only stun them for an hour. Let them know, Pluto is a planet. And we Plutonians don’t take kindly to be ignored or their planet to be demoted off the solar system.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Dude?”

“What?”

“Are you really going to eat that?”

“This? Yeah, that was my plan. Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a little *whistles*”

“Are you saying my breakfast choice is gay?”

“A little, yeah.”

“It’s a croissant.”

“I KNOW. And don’t say it like that. There’s a ‘t’ in there at the end. Pronounce it like an American.”

“I just never knew a pastry could have a sexual orientation.”

“Well, it does. And yours is playing for the wrong team.”

“Have you ever tried one? Put a little butter on there and you’re good to go. They go excellent with tea.”

“Dude you’re embarrassing me. Do you have to hold out your pinkie like that? There’s some hot waitresses here.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

“Well there are. People are gonna think we’re a couple or something. You can sabotage it for yourself, but don’t ruin it for me too.”

“Don’t you think about anything other than picking up women?  Anyway, what’s so manly about that monstrosity you ordered?”

“Are you kidding me? Death by Omelet? You got five eggs, half a pound of bacon, three cups of cheddar cheese, ham, onion, and whatever else they could find. Fried! Better than that, if you finish it in an hour you get half off your next meal.”

“That’s not breakfast, that’s a cry for help.”

“And it only cost me six bucks. I won’t have to eat the rest of the day.”

“That’s because you’ll be dead, big man.”

“Whatever. Dude, put that pinkie finger down and check this chick out. I think she’s headed our way.”

“Hey.  I was sitting over there and couldn’t help but notice we ordered the exact same thing. Don’t they have the best croissants here? Flaky, but not too dry. I love how they practically melt in my mouth.”

“Um, yeah.  Goes well with a nice cup of tea too.”

“Totally. Have you seen some of the other stuff on the menu, though? I’d hate to see the person who would order that omelet thing. Disgusting.”

“…”

“ Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t mind him. He’s under the impression that women are only impressed by men that eat large quantities animal products.”

“Yeah, not so much. Hey, do you come here often? Crap, that sounded lame. I just thought maybe we could hang out sometime. I mean, they have that two for one deal on Tuesdays.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Great.  Here’s my cell number.”

“Cool.”

“Well, I gotta go. My gymnastics coach will kill me if I’m late for practice. Have to get my stretching in. You know how bad traffic is on campus.”

“Yeah, it sure is…terrible. Nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you too. Don’t forget to call me. Oh, and you might want to check on your friend. He doesn’t look so well. Too many eggs maybe?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine in a day or two. Once all the grease makes its way through his system.”

…

“Dude, do not look at me like that. I swear I’ll punch that smirk right off your face.”

“I wouldn’t do that. You better conserve your energy if you plan on eating that whole thing.”

“You know what? She probably gave you a fake phone number. She wasn’t that hot, either.”

“I think I’ll take my chances. Hey, why don’t you let me get you a croissant? Looks like you could use a little more to eat.”

“Ugh. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Gregory played with the glowing lights on the panel as Abby studied the bottle on the table.

“How is this supposed to work again?” Abby asked in a trembling voice.

Gregory shook his head and breathed out a sigh, “I’ve told you this, like a million times already. Leave the science to me. You just be prepared to be a part of the most historic moment of mankind.”

“No. I want to understand. Why do we need this bottle of scotch again?”

Gregory put his glasses down and walked to Abby, “Look. The reason time traveling always fails is there are just too many variables. Add to that trouble avoiding getting sucked into inter-dimensional worm holes… what I’m trying to say is there has to be constant involved.”

“Okay” was all Abby could manage, blinking her eyes as his hands clenched on her shoulders.

“I have been unable to perfect the equation so that it could teleport us to specific co-ordinates back in time. Right now, it requires a constant… an object that existed both in the current time and in during the timeline you wish to visit. The bottle is that constant.”

“How old is this bottle?” Abby picked it up to analyze it.

“DO NOT…”, he snatched the bottle back and kept it back on the table, “Do not touch it honey. I know that our family had had this bottle for at least six generations. Now, let me finish my work. In about five more minutes you’ll be witnessing a miracle.”

“Where would we be going. I mean how far back?” squeaked Abby, still not sure what she was getting into.

“We’ll be visiting my great grand father. I’ve been told he was one of the greatest geniuses of his time. As am I. Its always a pleasure to meet a fellow great mind. We all know how rare they are. Right then, I’ll pull this switch and here we go. We’re ready. Go to your spot and do not move.”

They both entered their chambers. As the red light on the panel turned to green, they were gone. Disappeared from the spot they stood.

Hardly a second would have passed by and then they were back.

Abby stormed out of the chamber and threw her purse at the bottle.

“Abby! Calm down. Do not throw anything at the machine.”

“A miracle! Historic moment of mankind, my ass!”, she shouted. “You took me back in time to show me you great grandfather fucking… sorry thats too cheap a word for a genius like you, right. Your great gradfather fornicating with some… some whatever…. what kind of sick pervert are you?”

“Abby… hon, I couldn’t have known.”

“God knows where else the bottle had been in those six generation of yours. The things they were doing with it. Eww… I’m leaving.”

“Abby, wait. I also have my mom’s necklace. She said its atleast a 100 yrs old.” He heard the door shut behind Abby as he stood shouting, “Abby… Abby!”

“You had to bring him up here, didn’t you?” Susan said as Rufus ran circles around her

“What else was I supposed to do? Leave him alone at home while we go hiking for two days?” Mark defended.

“We could have left him with Sharon.”

“You know he hates Sharon!”

“He’s a dog! I’m sure he can adjust for a couple of days”

“Oh so he’s just a dog now?” Mark turned to Susan, “And who says ‘Come to Mommy’ a million times a day?”

“You know I love him and didn’t mean it like that. He is not just a dog, but he is getting old and I don’t know if he’ll be able to go through the trip.”

“He is not old. Look at him running those circles around you.”

“He is eight, Mark. That’s like 80 in dog years.”

“Dogs don’t have their calenders. Eight years is just eight years. He’s in the best shape of his life. Aren’t you Rufy?”

Rufus let his tongue out and wiggled his tail.

“See. He agrees” Mark proudly flashed his whites.

“Don’t you agree that your Paa is a stubborn old man, Rufus?” asked Susan with her hands on her waist.

Rufus turned to her and wiggled his tail again.

“And he agrees” she retorted.

“Guess you’ll be staying at Sharon’s next time, eh?” Mark gruffed.

With that Rufus sprinted across to the other side of the bridge.

“Told you he didn’t like Sharon”, Mark grinned, “I’ll go ahead and see he doesn’t wander off too far.”

“Wait for me Mark. I can’t cross this bridge on my own.”

“Guess Rufus ain’t the only one getting old.”

“Its got nothing to do with my age. I’m scared of heights.”

“Why the hell did you agree to go on a trek then? What did you think, we’ll be going to the middle earth?”, said Mark, who was already half-way across the bridge.

“I can see now that it was clearly a mistake. Now you’re coming back here or what?”

“I better check on Rufus first. Come on wifey, you can do it. Its just a bridge.” Mark got off the bridge and went after Rufus.

“Mark. I demand you come back here… please. Please, come back. Mark! Maaaark! There’ll be no breakfast for you for a month. Six months! I mean it!”